Kids Say the Darndest Things

So I'm feeling grouchy and stomping around the house one day and my son comes up to me and says, "You're a grumpy old troll." I was like, "So what if I am? Wait, what?" How did he ever learn that? Then I saw "Dora" the other day and she and Boots (the monkey)(don't ask) had to cross a bridge but a "grumpy old troll" was blocking their way. I don't know if Dominic really used that phrase because I was looking grouchy or because he had just been watching Dora. Either way, if the shoe fits....

Then we're sitting there at dinner one night and Brian expressed his disappointment about something. We all agreed that it was too bad. Dominic, looking down at some food he wasn't sure he wanted to try, chimed in with, "Oh, well, Hakuna Matata." We all cracked up. Dominic was quoting a scene from the Lion King where Simba doesn't want to eat a bug, but deciding he will eat it says, "Oh, well, Hakuna Matata." Dominic said it because he didn't want to try the chicken but was going to anyway. The funny thing was it fit in with Brian's disappointment, and Dominic hadn't even intended that.

Dominic is probably the only two year old to have seen Ghostbusters, but he has (and yes, it has caused nightmares)(don't ask). So he likes to listen to the song by Ray Parker, Jr. There's a line that says "when there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? Ghostbusters." So we were driving home and Dominic started pointing to each house on our block and asking me if there were ghosts inside. I told him, no, there weren't. He thought about it. We went inside. He turns to me and says, "There's no ghosts in our neighborhood." I didn't even know he knew what a neighborhood was! I can't wait for Cameron to talk.

I Need a Montage

You know those moments in the movies set to music where someone completely turns their life around? They weigh 300 pounds, but in a span of two - three minutes you see them start exercising, cleaning out the fridge, adding healthy food, losing weight, picking out new clothes and then walking into the big prom night looking like a million bucks? Sure, they did all the hard work but it took like next to nothing time to do it. That's what I want.

I don't mind doing the hard work, but I don't want it to take nine months. I'd like someone to speed up time, set it to a cool song like "Elevation" by U2, and produce a new me by tomorrow. Is that too much to ask?

At the rate I'm going, with the baby crying half way through the work out and the other one running around the room like an idiot while I try and exercise, I'll be able to lose 10 pounds in a year. Suck.

Watch Your Language, Dammit!

So I went to pick up my youngest son, Cameron, who is 9 weeks old. I left his older brother, Dominic, the two-year-old, playing video games. Well, Dominic wasn't really plating, just pushing the buttons and trying to make the game, Crash Bandicoot, work. I brought the baby into the room where Dominic was playing. He looked up from the game and saw Cameron in my arms and said, "Dammit. I wanted to play this game."

Can't fault him there. He used it correctly. Guess I better watch my language. Cameron was shocked at such salty language. I told him it wasn't like that was the first time he had heard such bad words.

Brian, my husband, and I were trying to get the kids in the car during an incredible rain storm. Brian managed to throw Dominic in and then jump in the car himself while I'm standing in the pouring rain trying to hook up Cameron's car seat. It was so cold and so miserable that I apparently let the "F" word fly. I jumped in the car and looked at Brian. He was staring at me with a smirk on his face. He says, "Well, Dominic just used the "F" word." My jaw dropped, I whipped around to look at Dominic, and said in all sincerity, "Where did he learn that?"

Incredulity was probably the look on Brian's face. He says, "You just said it!" Then he cracked up. Guess all those years in a newsroom are paying off for my child's language development.